Forgivness – My Story

Talking of synchronicity, it is how this story you are about to read unfolds. In September 2013 my wife and me, flew to Sharjah to assist my son and family, as my daughter in law was expecting a child. In such matters, it is the lady of the house, whose services are most sought after, I was just an add on, helping the family with small house hold errands.

Under the circumstances, I had ample time on hand, so engrossed myself in reading. I was reading the Book ‘ Dying to be Me. My Journey from cancer….’ by Anita Moorjani. During the course of my reading, I traveled to Dubai to spend a day with my niece Sarah Boriyawala. We started to discuss the Book, and talked about faith, prayers, NDE, faith and pranic healing, Chi Gong etc: Sarah is teaching Yoga to a selected few.

On account of a life threatening medical condition that she had, she is well read and has tried alternative medical therapy.

Talking of synchronicity, it was in Dubai on March 16, 2011 which also happened to be Anita’s Birthday, that she received a surprise mail from Hay House, stating that they were willing to publish her book and provide all assistance and Wayne Dyer will be writing the Book Introduction.

Here in Dubai two years later, in my small little world, Sarah Boriyawala agreed to share her healing experience, and how FORGIVENESS and freeing your self from past hurts, helped her in complete healing.

Her Story in her own words. Hope her experience will help others to look at life threatening disease in a different perspective. The body has the capacity to heal its self, we have to learn to find the cause.

It was the last week of November 2010. I was visiting my parents in Kolkata during the Eid Al Adha holidays. I had been suffering from arrhythmia for about a year now. I had consulted a Doctor, when it had happened the first few times, but since the frequency was very low and all the ECG and thyroid tests had come back normal, he had put it down to stress and asked me not to be too hyper and calm down.

After that, the next time I consulted the Doctor, was when the frequency had increased to almost once a week and I went to him on a day when it had been beating at an increased rate since 9am to 6pm. He did an ECG and my heart was beating at 150 bpm. He told me it was SVT or supra-ventricular- tachycardia and gave me some medication to take for three days. Within the first day my heart rate was down to 40 bpm. He asked me to stop and take only half of the tablet if another episode should occur. He knew I was travelling and asked me to take expert advice there.

Now on the very next day of arriving in Kolkatta I decided to consult a Specialist for second opinion. We went to BM Birla Heart Research Center and Hospital, where I got an attack right in the Doctor’s chamber. It was beating at 180bpm and he had me hospitalized right away. They administered isoptin which brought the heart rate down right away.

They did a couple of tests and here the beat seemed to be more of V- Tach i.e ventricular tachycardia which is way more serious. I was sent for an MRI which said I had Recurrent Ventricular tachycardia and ARVD.

ARVD is arrhythmic right ventricular displasia. The only treatment for this is placing an ICD which is an implanted cardiac defibrillator which shocks the heart back into sinus beat every time it begins to throw out these extra beats. These beats do not allow the heart to complete the function of pumping the blood from one chamber to the other and finally to the lungs properly because of which proper oxygenated blood cannot reach the organs particularly the brain. This causes dizziness and blackouts and people suffer serious injuries due to falls that may take place due to a sudden blackout. I was asked not to cook as I could suddenly topple over the gas, not to drive, carry weights and I was to be monitored even when taking a shower in case I blacked out.

I was discharged with the advice that any recurrent attack should be treated by putting in an ICD. However, Dr. Haque who was the arrhythmia expert there was surprised to find that I was responding to only 120mg of Calaptin which is a very mild dosage so he asked me to see Dr. Yash Lokhandwala who is the second best in Asia in this field and based in Mumbai.

As I was travelling alone I decided to fly back to Dubai and consult the Mumbai Specialist later. The medicine was also working, and I was feeling fine. In Kolkata before leaving I did take two experts opinion, did the necessary tests, and both confirmed ARVD.

Once back in Dubai I called my relative Dr. Aliasgar who was aware of my problem and read out the report to him. He was taken aback as he too had thought it was SVT and thought an ablation would sort out the problem. He took the film of the MRI and sent it to a lab and got an expert opinion, which again confirmed it was ARVD.

Now I had also started looking up the net for reports of this disease. It seemed allopathy had no cure for it. Many testimonies showed that even after putting an ICD people had to make many lifestyle changes and live very compromised lives. And after finding out that I should get to a hospital within 20 minutes of my heart beating in this manner or else there was a possibility of death really scared me.

Initially I was depressed and never ventured out of home. I was aware of my heart rate going up for a while now and again. It was at this juncture that I started seeking alternative medical treatment. I would do yogic anulom-vilom breathing, I had a relative do reiki on me. I watched my diet. I was also reading books by various New Age masters, which taught me to enjoy the present moment and stop living in the constant fear of death. I found solace and peace but the threat to life was still there, at the back of my mind.

My moment finally came, when a friend of mine who does pranic healing scanned me and put it down to a deep emotional hurt that had caused a scar in my heart and asked me to do forgive everybody who may have knowingly or unknowingly hurt me.

At the onset, it did surprise me, but as the saying goes – ‘dubta ne tinka no saharo’ under the condition I was, and having read many life changing books, I put firm faith in her advice.

I had read ‘Dying to be Me ‘ by Anita Moorjani, and in response to one question as to what caused her cancer, this was her reply, which at the time resonated with me.

She said: ‘ I believe my cancer was related to my self identity, and it was though it was my body’s way of telling me that my soul was grieving for the loss of its own worth – of its identity. If I’d known the truth of who I actually am, I woud’nt have got cancer’

It made sense that may be, in my case as my friend had stated, some deep emotional hurt was the cause.

Now I had a pretty decent childhood and considered myself to be happily married. There was no deep trauma or abuse that I had suffered which could have caused this problem. But she insisted that different people had different levels of sensitivity so though I may not have had any big traumatic issue maybe a lot of small small issues had gotten hold on me.

And I did agree that I had a habit of bottling up my feelings. Now this bottled up feelings and emotions are the cause of many of today’s life threatening disease. In trying to maintain status quo and in trying not to ruffle feathers in our day to day relations, and feeling of insecurity and our perceived notion of not living up to the expectations of our peers, are some of the prime causes.

On reflection I came to know that I could not tolerate people being upset around me, and would always be the first to make up even if I felt I had been wronged. Not because I could forgive and forget but I could not bear with the stressed out atmosphere.

So she asked me to basically write the story of my life starting from as far as I could remember to the present day and while doing so to forgive whosoever had hurt me even if it was something as silly as my grade 2 friend for having taken my sweet from me !!

I was to forgive the soul of each person seven times for every hurt and after that also if some incidents kept repeating themselves in my mind I was to forgive again 7 times. It was a whole process where I was to forgive saying that, as humans they were bound to make mistakes as that is how they would learn and grow and with this understanding, I was to forgive and cut a cord through which holding on to this hurt was keeping me connected to them.

I also asked for forgiveness from the souls of those whom I had hurt knowingly or unknowingly and made a resolve not to repeat those mistakes. I was also to forgive myself for any guilt that I may be feeling for those that I had hurt with the same understanding that being human we do make mistakes and must learn from them. That is how we evolve.

At the onset I found it very intimidating but my dear friend encouraged me and finally it turned out to be quite a thick manuscript and I genuinely wrote all my deepest and darkest secrets in it.

It was quite an emotional roller coaster and I cried quite a bit as I went about this therapy. At the end of it I felt emotionally cleansed and also, in retrospect I saw a lot of incidents in a different light now than as I had viewed them then as I was more mature now. When I wrote this I somehow thought that she will read it or give someone adept in her field to read it and probably advise me. But she just asked me to burn it and release all my hurt and allow the universe to now take care of it.

Around the time that I finished doing this, we planned to travel to Mumbai and got an appointment with Dr Yash Lokhandwala. As is the case in normal medical diagnosis, as some time had elapsed, Dr. Lokhandwala, asked me to get a fresh MRI done. The MRI showed that I did not have ARVD. He diagnosed me with a much more benign heart problem of RVOT.

Which is right ventricular outflow tachycardia. There were two points which were throwing out the extra beats. He ablated one and on repeated attempts also could not find the other as the heart stopped throwing out the extra beats as soon as the first ablation was done. Because of that there is a small dosage of daily medication that I have to take. But since then I have been symptom free and my heart does not beat fast unless it has valid reason to do so. I lead a normal healthy life today teaching yoga and travelling around the world. Both of which I enjoy immensely and both of which would have had to be considerably compromised if I had ARVD.

Now whether it was a misdiagnosis in the first place, in all probability it could not have been, as several expert opinions all confirmed ARVD or whether the forgiveness therapy genuinely healed me, I am not sure.ALLAH KNOWS BEST.

But I do know that the events that unfolded ultimately lead me to a path from where I have learnt a lot and grown a lot. So I believe that whatever happens no matter how difficult and awful it seems ultimately happens to teach us and guide us so that we may live our best lives ultimately.

In conversation with Sarah Boriyawala in Dubai

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